DEAR ABBY: I really like this girl, but my parents absolutely cannot stand her. They hate that she has a tattoo and a lip ring, but her appearance has had no effect on her professional life, as she is on the road to success in her field. I am not writing to ask whether I should stay with her, because I intend to. She's an amazing person, a hard worker, a trustworthy partner and, most of all, she's my best friend.
How can I diffuse potentially "combustible" situations with my parents, who always try to put her down no matter how often I plead my case? -- JOE IN RHODE ISLAND
DEAR JOE: Whether your parents approve or not, tattoos seem to have become a rite of passage for many people of your generation, and so have lip rings, eyebrow rings and multiple ear piercings. If you are over 21 and living independent of your parents, then you have the right to choose the women you become involved with. From your letter, I'd say your values are mature.
In time, your parents may recognize the fine qualities you see in this young woman. If they don't, they may wind up estranging a son. Right now, getting into a debate about her will be a losing proposition and I'm advising you against it.