DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Richard" for three years, but we have lived together for 10. I was Richard's first and only girlfriend. He's very shy and reserved, while I have always been the outgoing, rebellious type.
I have been communicating with another man, "Drew," for about a year. It started out as me just having a little fun, but now I'm seriously considering leaving Richard. Although Drew and I have never met in person, we're romantically involved and both of us believe we're in love.
I love Richard, but I just don't feel "in love" anymore. We have lost our connection. We have talked about our communication problems, and he knows about Drew. Despite my explaining what the problems were, I feel he has ignored the issues.
We have been trying to get pregnant for years and it hasn't happened. I'm starting to believe it is a sign that I should move on. Should I follow my heart and be with Drew or stay with Richard despite my feelings? Please help. -- DISTRAUGHT IN TEXAS
DEAR DISTRAUGHT: I'm willing to wager that if you devoted just a fraction of the energy you have spent on your extracurricular relationship to your husband, your marriage would be in better shape. With the help of a marriage counselor you might even be able to address those issues you feel have been ignored and re-establish your "connection."
But for you to throw away your marriage for someone you haven't met in person would be a serious mistake. Be glad that you haven't gotten pregnant and dragged a child into this. It would have broken your husband's heart, not only because you abandoned him but also because he would have been separated from the child he loved.