DEAR ABBY: I am 23, happily married and have two children. My question involves my 4 l/2-year-old, "Shelly," who is the result of a previous relationship. Her biological father left me after he found out I was pregnant. When I was almost ready to deliver, he called and asked me to come back to him, which I did, only to get dumped again one week before Shelly's birth.
Since then, I have married a wonderful man I met days before Shelly was born. He has adopted her, and he is the only daddy she has ever known.
My question is: When would be the best age for me to tell her about this? -- CLUELESS IN MICHIGAN
DEAR CLUELESS: Your daughter should be told as soon as she's old enough to understand the difference between "biological" father and "adoptive" father. And when you do, tell her that her daddy fell in love with you both at the same time.