DEAR ABBY: I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder five years ago. I take my medicine and have been doing fine. The only thing missing in my life is love.
I finally met a man, and we have been slowly getting to know each other over the past three months. He talked about wanting to become a couple, and so I decided I needed to tell him about my illness. He said he wants to keep seeing me, but we need to talk more before we decide on anything long-term.
All of a sudden, I feel depressed. It's not fair that this illness "chose" me. I have never done anything that could have caused this. Do you think I'm still capable of finding long-term love? Why do I feel more depressed now than I ever have before? -- ACHING IN ILLINOIS
DEAR ACHING: You are probably feeling more depressed than you ever have before because you have a lot of emotion riding on this relationship, which may be threatened because of the stigma and misunderstanding by many people on the subject of mental illness.
I do think you are capable of finding a long-term partner, and I respect you for telling him the truth. What he said was not a rejection. You have known each other for a relatively short time. He wants to get to know you better, and you should allow him the time to do that. This is how all meaningful relationships develop.
P.S. If you continue to cycle into depression, please alert your psychiatrist.