DEAR ABBY: I am a mature, adult woman in my 40s who has never had a good relationship with my mother. Candidly, she is a mean person who has left a lot of hurt feelings in her wake. It makes being close to her impossible. Our entire family feels the way I do about her, including her only surviving sister.
I will be remarrying soon. Although I feel that inviting my mother to my wedding is the right thing to do, it could mean potentially inviting disaster -- literally. I'm having trouble coming to terms with this decision and would love your input. -- NEEDS GUIDANCE IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR NEEDS GUIDANCE: Your mother appears to be a bitter, possibly disturbed woman. If she isn't invited, the hurt and angry feelings could reverberate for years. Because the rest of your family knows the way she is, consider inviting her on the condition that she will be on her best behavior -- and with the understanding that if she "lapses," some family members will escort her out.