DEAR ABBY: Eight months ago, I became involved with "Ted," who was separated from his wife, "Erica." I fell head-over-heels for him, but in the end, he decided to work things out with his wife.
When Ted told Erica about me, she said she wanted to meet me. I decided I owed it to her, so we met. Believe it or not, we hit it off. Within a couple of weeks we were friends.
The problem, of course, is that hanging out with Erica means I also see Ted. I thought I was over him, but recently old feelings have come back and I feel awful thinking about him while being good friends with his wife. I don't want to give up the friendship with her, but being around him is making me sad. What should I do? -- DISCONCERTED FRIEND
DEAR DISCONCERTED: You and I both know what you should do. Put the brakes on the relationship with Erica and Ted, and when she asks why, explain that it has nothing to do with her but you have some unresolved issues to work out. Then back off until you get your head straight, and possibly become involved with another man. To do otherwise is masochistic.