DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Derek," confessed to me that while he was out with friends on a work-related trip, he drank too much and danced with and kissed another woman. He didn't tell me right away. He planned to tell me sometime in the future, but his conscience bothered him, so he told me five days later.
I'm at a loss as to what to do. We have a small child. Derek is a good man, but he has violated my trust. I can't forget and I don't know if I can forgive. We've had our ups and downs, and the past year has been particularly stressful.
When he returned from the trip, he was the perfect husband -- loving, attentive, devoted -- exactly what I had been missing. To find out that what was behind this change in his behavior was guilt is devastating. I'm not sure I want to be with him anymore. Am I overreacting? -- THROWN IN MARYLAND
DEAR THROWN: Yes -- but that doesn't mean you should ignore what happened. Before you throw away what could be a perfectly good marriage, it's important you and Derek work through what caused those "ups and downs" that led to what was missing in your relationship. A marriage counselor could be very helpful right now. If Derek didn't love you and want to make things right, he wouldn't have told you about what he did. For that, I respect him, and so should you.