DEAR ABBY: My wife and I divorced after she had a year-long affair with a co-worker, whom she eventually married. Early in our marriage I suspected she was having an affair with a relative, which she finally admitted to after our divorce.
Now that our youngest son, "Douglas," has become an adult, he is beginning to strongly resemble his "Uncle Joel." I don't know if other members of our large family have noticed, but when I asked my ex if it's possible that Douglas is not my biological son, she became very quiet. I passed a note to Joel, but he blew it off without comment.
Douglas will soon be moving far away to begin his career and does not suspect anything. Should he be told who his real father is? Should his siblings be told the truth, or should I let Joel and my ex continue to lie as though nothing ever happened? -- DAD WITH A DILEMMA IN MICHIGAN
DEAR DAD: Unless you are 100 percent certain that Douglas is not your child, you should not tell him otherwise. And the same goes for his siblings.
Before you take this any further, my advice is to discuss this with your lawyer because children born "within the bonds of wedlock" are presumed to be the husband's. However, if there is irrefutable proof that you are not Douglas' biological father, he should be informed so he can be aware of any medical information he may need in the future.