DEAR ABBY: "Charlene" and I dated 10 years ago. We remained friends after dating. At the time, she was plus-sized.
I moved away for a while, and now that I am back, Charlene will talk to me only on the phone and not in person. Her reason is she is much too large now to let me see her. She doesn't want any human contact at all, and I'm scared for her. I have told her many times that I don't care about her weight. I want to see her, but she won't budge. I don't know how to get her to snap out of it. Help! -- KEPT AWAY IN PHILADELPHIA
DEAR KEPT AWAY: If Charlene has family and you know how to contact them, do so. Outline your concern that their relative has gained so much weight she's gone into hiding -- and hope they can convince her to seek help. Other than that, there's no way to force direct contact on someone who doesn't want to see you. However, you should continue to be a supportive telephone friend. She may need all the emotional support she will allow.