DEAR ABBY: I'm an independent, 41-year-old woman who attracts men who are 10 to 13 years younger than I am. I'm not interested in them because I feel they are only after one thing. Another problem is, when I start getting close to a man my own age, he always makes me feel "smothered." It seems I'm either loved too much or not at all.
Is there a balance, or am I just afraid of getting close? -- AVOIDING GETTING HURT IN MILWAUKEE
DEAR AVOIDING: I suspect that it's the latter. Not all younger men are interested in only one thing. Some are, but not all. And men your age who are ready for commitment are not "smothering" you -- but they do seem to want something you are unwilling or unable to give.
Unless you can determine what's holding you back, you will remain single and looking. A psychologist could help you get to the heart of the matter quickly, and that's what I'm recommending so I won't hear from you with this same problem when you're 50.