DEAR ABBY: I am 28 and have dated my boyfriend "Dan" for two years. We have lived together for the past year. I fell for him the moment I laid eyes on him and have always imagined we would spend the rest of our lives together.
My problem is Dan shows me almost no affection. He doesn't tell me he loves me unless I say it first; he never wants to cuddle next to me or hug me when he gets home from work. He insists that he loves me, and says his lack of demonstrativeness is because he didn't grow up in an affectionate household and it makes him uncomfortable.
I feel Dan is an adult and can choose to make his household -- our household -- one filled with love and affection. It's starting to make me question whether we really have a future together. Am I overreacting? -- NO HUGS, NO CUDDLES IN PHILLY
DEAR NO HUGS, NO CUDDLES: No. You're an intelligent woman, and you're asking intelligent questions. Before making up your mind about Dan, make clear to him what your needs are. Demonstrate the kind of affection you need from him, and see if he's willing to make the effort. If he's not up to it, then -- face it -- he's not the man for you. To marry someone who can't show love would be for you to live on an emotional starvation diet.