DEAR ABBY: I don't cry at funerals. I am a Christian with a deep conviction that the deceased is in a better place.
I have been criticized for not crying. My sister-in-law chided me about it at my father-in-law's funeral. He had been sick and in constant pain for 15 years and died in his 70s. I didn't cry because he had lived a long and happy life, and had been finally released from chronic pain.
How do I answer these criticisms? I have given the reasons I have given you, but no one wants to accept that response. I'm tired of being told how I "should" show emotion at a funeral. Is what I feel or show really anyone's business but my own? -- STOIC IN COLUMBUS, OHIO
DEAR STOIC: No, it's not. And furthermore, funerals can be such wrenching events that sometimes emotions become mixed up and mourners -- rather than crying -- have been known to break into giggles and laughter. Because few people who have suffered a significant loss are at their best while they are grieving, please try to forgive these presumptuous individuals for their comments.