DEAR ABBY: My father, who is in bad health, recently announced that he would like to be cremated and buried at the foot of my mother's grave. My birth mother died 28 years ago when I was 2, after they had been married only three years.
Dad married my stepmother when I was 8. I feel he should be buried with the wife he's been with for 22 years. She is the one who has seen him through the worst times in his life, his heart attack and stroke. My stepmother seems to have no negative feelings about it.
Am I wrong for thinking that a husband and wife should lie side-by-side when their time comes -- with a single headstone with their names and dates of birth/death/marriage? Or is there some tradition I don't know about that he should be buried with his first wife? -- ENQUIRING IN CLARKSTON, WASH.
DEAR ENQUIRING: Your stepmother is realistic and unsentimental. She knows your father was married before, and they may have discussed this between the two of them. Perhaps she feels that because your father prefers to be interred with your mother, that's where he belongs. Your stepmother had him during the most important years -- while he was living and breathing. And who knows? She may marry again, so think positively.