DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Paula," and I have a friend I'll call "Mark." I recently learned that before our wedding, Mark made a pass at Paula. (He was separated from his wife at the time.) Paula told him she wasn't interested.
I also found out that Paula kissed Mark while we were having some difficulties during the past couple of years. But when Mark and his wife worked things out, he told Paula the behavior had to end.
When I ask my wife about these things, she's honest and tells me what happened. I try to keep an open mind and get past it, but haven't been able to.
It doesn't help that Mark visits Paula at her job several times a week, and she stays there socializing with him after she's done working. I'd estimate they spend at least 10 hours a week together. I don't like to be around them anymore because they're always touching and poking each other. I actually counted 22 "touches" once when I was with them for a couple of hours.
I have told my wife I'm uncomfortable with their relationship, especially because of the past kissing business. She says I should stop being insecure and that they're just friends. I feel she is choosing their friendship over our marriage. Please help me figure out what to do. -- LEFT OUT IN MAINE
DEAR LEFT OUT: Mark isn't your friend. And to say that Paula is insensitive to your feelings would be an understatement. What makes you uncomfortable is their obvious physical attraction, an example of which is the fact they can't keep their hands off each other.
Because you can't seem to get through to your wife, enlist the help of a licensed marriage counselor. Tell Paula you're making an appointment with a therapist and invite her along. If she refuses, go without her. What's happening is unfair to you, and you need an ally.