DEAR ABBY: I was a lonely widow for many years until I met "Carl." We married two years ago, but separated after two weeks.
Afterward, my daughter, "Gail," and her husband, "Don," and their two kids lived with me for 18 months. I was the only one working. Gail helped a little around the house, but Don wouldn't even mow the grass.
During that time I had two heart attacks and an angioplasty. Two weeks before my first heart attack, Gail and I had a terrible fight, and the police were called.
When Carl heard about the heart attack (I sent him a copy of the bill), he called to check on me. Don told him it was "nothing." He said I made it all up, and I was "fine." My doctor said if I hadn't come in during the second heart attack and had the angioplasty, I would not have survived.
A month after the angioplasty, Gail, Don and I had another terrible fight. Gail punched me several times, and I hit her back at least twice. The police made them move out that same night. I don't regret them leaving. They acted like my house belonged to them and I was their slave. I do miss my grandchildren, though.
Carl and I have reconciled, and now we realize that Don went out of his way to create problems between us. I have not spoken to him or my daughter since. My sons, my friends and my neighbors have all told me they are relieved the two of them are gone.
What is your opinion of a 25-year-old daughter who would hit her mother because her mother wanted her own life? -- RELIEVED IN KANSAS
DEAR RELIEVED: Several things occur to me. What you have described is blatant elder abuse. But I wonder where your daughter learned that violence was acceptable behavior. Frankly, I am concerned for her children's safety.
For your own safety, do not allow yourself to be lured into Gail's proximity, because she has already shown she will damage you physically, emotionally and financially. Because you can't fix what's wrong with your daughter, it's important to keep your distance.