DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "George," and I have been living together about five years. We both have children from previous relationships. My daughter is 11; George's daughter, "Sophie," is 8. She doesn't live with us, but George has her every other weekend.
I'm sad to say that after all these years, I hardly know Sophie. Most of George's weekends with her are spent at his mother's lakefront cottage. This hurts my feelings.
I have told George numerous times that I would like to be more involved in his daughter's life. We plan on being married someday, which would make me Sophie's stepmother. George tells me that because he doesn't see Sophie that often, he would like it to be quality time. I involve him in everything in my life, and I would like him to do the same. What should I do? -- UNWANTED IN GRAND RAPIDS
DEAR UNWANTED: I suspect that your gentleman friend's reluctance to involve you in his daughter's life goes beyond the idea that it might negatively affect his "quality time" with her.
After all this time, he should have begun integrating you into Sophie's life, if he planned on marrying you any time in the foreseeable future. It is possible that his reluctance may have something to do with the wishes of her mother, who may have insisted when visitation began that the child be separated from you. Not knowing George or his ex it's difficult to project what might be going on. But you should definitely find out -- the sooner the better -- because you deserve some straight answers.