Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: You have always encouraged your readers to stay informed and to be proactive in their health care. Because of that, I am writing on behalf of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration's Office of Women's Health and the Federal Citizen Information Center to tell you about our new Health Information Kit for women and their families.
May 13-19, National Women's Health Week, is an effort by the Department of Health and Human Services and an alliance of organizations to raise awareness about manageable steps women can take to improve their health.
That's why the FDA has created a Health Information Kit that includes more than a dozen free materials -- helpful information that recognizes the needs of women, not only as consumers, but also as family decision makers.
Thank you for getting this valuable consumer information out to your readers. -- KATHLEEN UHL, M.D., ASSISTANT COMMISSIONER FOR WOMEN'S HEALTH
DEAR KATHLEEN: I'm delighted to spread the word. Readers, I have reviewed the information the FDA is offering -- free of charge, including the cost of postage. The kits contain a gold mine of handy-dandy information on more than a dozen topics, and feature its new Medicine Booklets, first-of-their kind pamphlets with information about all products to treat depression, high blood pressure, cholesterol and smoking cessation. Also included are tips on reducing the risk of heart disease (a leading killer of women), food safety and much more.
All of the information has been compiled by the government at taxpayer expense, which is why it's offered to you at no charge.
Quantities are limited, so if you are interested in this offer, do not delay -- order today. Here's how: For the fastest service, order the Health Information Kit online at � HYPERLINK "http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov" ��www.pueblo.gsa.gov�. If you don't have online access, send your name and address to Health Information Kit, Pueblo, CO 81009, or call toll-free (888) 878-3256, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern time, and ask for the Health Information Kit.
DEAR ABBY: On Mother's Day, our church has a tradition of asking all the mothers in the congregation to stand for a blessing and recognition of their importance to our community and the job they are doing.
My wife refuses to stand and be recognized by our community as a mother. She says she won't do it because there are some women in our church who are not standing, and some of them might not be able to be mothers and may be hurt at the recognition the others are receiving.
I realize that infertility may be a great loss to them, but these women live with it every day. I doubt that our church's annual recognition of mothers will add more pain than those women already endure. Don't you agree? -- PROUD HUSBAND AND FATHER IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR PROUD HUSBAND AND FATHER: No, I do not agree. Your wife is a woman with unusual sensitivity and empathy for the feelings of others. I respect her stance on remaining seated, and so should you.
CONFIDENTIAL TO PAULINE PHILLIPS, MY DEAR MOTHER IN MINNEAPOLIS: Happy Mother's Day to the dearest mother in the world. You are in my thoughts and heart today, and every day.
DEAR ABBY: Next to your column in today's newspaper was an article about a coming fad. It's camouflage clothing for young children. In part, it read, "The juxtaposition of the rough and rugged with the soft babyness is what gives the look its ying-yang charm. Kids in camo are, quite simply, adorable."
As a retired 30-year veteran of law enforcement, I don't think it's adorable. I view it as a dangerous fad for children. During my many years of service in law enforcement, I participated in dozens of searches for lost children.
Abby, every year thousands of children are lost in this country. Some are found in a few hours, some in a few days, but others are never found. If you put just 2 or 3 percent of the children vacationing in the mountains, parks and wilderness areas of this and other countries in camouflage outfits, you will see even more tragedy because these lost children can't be seen. Lost children are hard enough to find when they are wearing red and orange outfits. If you dress a child in a camouflage outfit, he or she could be missed from 20 feet.
Please discourage parents from using these outfits -- especially if they are traveling in the countryside or any other out-of-the-way place. -- LAW ENFORCEMENT VETERAN
DEAR LAW ENFORCEMENT VETERAN: Thank you for writing, and for enclosing the newspaper article. Readers, the photo that accompanied it showed a toddler who appeared to be about 9 months old dressed in a camouflage "romper" lying on a camouflage blanket. The only part of the baby clearly visible was his head!
Parents, please use YOUR heads. As "cute" as these outfits may be, they could indeed, cause heartache if a child wearing one should wander off as many children do.
DEAR ABBY: I am a senior in high school and bummed out about the upcoming prom. I'm dreading who will ask me to the dance. You see, I've gotten the word that this boy, "Zack," is planning to invite me.
I don't want to go with him. His mother absolutely "loves" me. She's always talking about how smart and cute I am. Zack is not even close to a good date -- especially for my senior prom. He mumbles when he talks, and people have to continually ask him to repeat what he just said. He also doesn't know how to treat a girl. He can only talk about sports, and he shows no interest in other people's interests.
Last year, when one of my best friends asked me before Zack had a chance, Zack AND his mother were upset! I want to go to my last prom -- just not with him. How can I nicely refuse him if he asks me? -- PROM PROBLEM
DEAR PROM PROBLEM: If you have a guy friend you'd like to attend the prom with, ask him to take you. If he agrees, then you'll have a legitimate reason for telling Zack you can't go with him, and it won't wound his ego.
However, if the guys you'd like to go with all have other dates in mind, then consider going stag or with a group and inform Zack that's what you have decided to do.
DEAR ABBY: What's the procedure for sending a memorial contribution for someone who has died? Do you put a check in the card you give to the family, or should it go directly to the charity? -- JILL IN WASHINGTON
DEAR JILL: Checks should be sent directly to the designated charity, "In memory of (the deceased)." Once the charity receives the checks, the family is usually given a list of contributors' names. Include in your sympathy card or condolence note the fact that you have made the donation.
Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)
to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
DEAR ABBY: I have been in a horrible marriage for eight years. My husband, "Greg," has a lot of problems from his childhood and has a hard time being in a relationship. I have recently learned that he was raped by a family member when he was a little boy. He seems to be in denial, and claims it didn't happen.
In any case, I have had a feeling lately that Greg is attracted to men and may be having some kind of a fling with a guy. This guy is supposed to be a business associate, but he calls my husband constantly and has shown up at our house at 12:30 at night. Greg refused to answer the door, but texted him and lied to me about it. I feel like he doesn't want me to meet this guy.
How would I be able to tell if this is happening? Greg certainly won't tell me. -- LOST IN BRONX, N.Y.
DEAR LOST: My question to you is why have you tolerated living in a "horrible" marriage for eight long years? Most women would have insisted on an intervention through marriage counseling long before this.
The time has come to listen to your intuition. If you "think" your husband is cheating, regardless of whether it's with a man or a woman, then he probably is. If you know he lied to you and texted the man who came to your house, then check his computer and start digging for the evidence. The alternative would be to hire a private detective. The information that's gathered will help you determine what to do next.
DEAR ABBY: My mother has criticized almost everything either I or my husband has done almost from the start of our marriage. Sometimes it's disguised under the apologetic, "I'm only trying to help," like when she sends "helpful" articles on how to correct my latest flaw.
I have tried telling her that my husband and I are both aware of these things, and if it were currently within our abilities to fix said flaws, we would. It wasn't nearly as difficult to ignore when we lived in a different state from my parents, but now we live across town from them due to unfortunate circumstances.
The whole situation really has me down, and I know it's not normal for someone to feel depressed for as long as I have (we moved in 2003, and that's when my feelings intensified). Have you any suggestions? -- FEELING LOW IN LAS VEGAS
DEAR FEELING LOW: Have you told your mother how hurtful and depressing her helpful criticisms are? If the answer is no, then it's time you and your husband had a heart-to-heart with Mama. If the answer is yes, then any mail you receive from her should be returned unopened and marked "refused." And she should be told plainly that the more she criticizes, the more depressed it makes you and the less she'll see of you.
DEAR ABBY: As a nana, I have a problem when taking my 13-year-old granddaughter, "Eden," to church, stores, restaurants. Eden has blue eyes, black eyelashes and long blond hair. Anywhere I take her, people tell her how beautiful she is, and Eden is so embarrassed, she can't speak and casts her eyes down to the floor.
I know they mean well, but what is an appropriate response to these people? -- NANA IN TAMPA
DEAR NANA: Because your granddaughter is too shy to say anything, you should say: "Thank you. But even more important than beauty, my granddaughter is smart and nice to others, and we are very proud of her."
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)