DEAR ABBY: I have a part-time job taking care of an older gentleman who is disabled. He is very pleasant and interesting, and for the most part I like my job.
There is just one problem. After I bathe him, he wants me to put lotion on his genitals. When I do it, he tells me how good it feels. He has noticed my embarrassment and has said that it is just part of the human body. He also tells me that he likes me doing this because I do it "better than anyone has before."
I have tried to think about it as just a part of the job, but frankly, this situation makes me very uncomfortable, and now I dread going to his house.
I live with my boyfriend, whom I love very much. I have not discussed this with him because I'm too embarrassed and I'm afraid he would get upset. What should I do? -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN CORPUS CHRISTI
DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: You did not mention exactly how disabled your employer is. If he is physically able to apply the lotion himself, then that's what he should be doing.
If not, then it's time to inform your employer that you are no longer comfortable bathing him and therefore he should hire a male bath attendant. Frankly, what you have described sounds more like erotic massage than regular caregiving, and your feelings are valid.