DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Marvin," thinks that because we work together that we spend all day together, when in reality we may actually speak for a minute or two, three or four times a day. When we go home, Marvin immediately gets on the computer, which is in an alcove upstairs removed from everyone else. He'll come down to eat dinner and then gets back on the computer for the next four or five hours.
On weekends, he spends from 10 to 14 hours a day on the computer. Then he goes to bed. If I ask him to spend time with me and/or our children, he tells me I am "picking on him."
This has been going on for the last 13 years or more. I can understand why a woman would start talking to another man. Marvin is not there for me mentally, and I'm all alone.
He is good to me as far as worldly goods are concerned, but I couldn't care less about that. What good is it when you have no one to share your life with? What would you suggest I do? -- ALONE AND LONELY IN VIRGINIA
DEAR ALONE AND LONELY: What took you so long to write? The first thing you should do is check the "history" on the computer in the alcove, and see where your husband has been spending the time he should have been spending with you and the children. Then, armed with that information, offer him the option of marriage counseling before your marriage is so eroded that it can never be revived. If he refuses, seek counseling on your own to find out why you tolerated for so long a marriage without communication or companionship, and explore your options. In counseling you will find the answers you need.