DEAR READERS: Today is April Fools' Day, and in honor of the occasion, I thought I'd share with you some unusual letters I've received. Anyone who reads my column knows that letters can be funny because of the content, but sometimes they are also amusing because of the spelling. Cross my heart, these are all real. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I am 18 years old and I have a 6-month-old child. If you're thinking that I wasn't ready for that, you are correct. But I agreed to try my hardest at being a father.
Recently, though, rumors of my ex-girlfriend cheating on me reached my ears. By the time I heard, we had been broken up for nearly three months. Rumors of the child not being mine have also gotten back to me.
I am taking one of those maternity tests in May, and if the results come out negative, the child might not be mine. How should I talk to my ex if the child isn't mine? I'm worried about confronting her. -- WORRIED IN MONTANA
DEAR WORRIED: If the results are negative, it may not be necessary for you to confront her. In fact, it might be better if your lawyer did it for you. (The consultation may be expensive, but believe me, it will be worth every penny.)