DEAR ABBY: A schoolmate of mine died recently. To pay respects to his family, I attended the funeral.
A large group of his friends passed me, and they reeked of marijuana. I could literally smell them from across the room. I know that they had just lost a dear friend, but I was so offended I had to leave. No one else seemed to mind but me.
Now I feel bad because I left behind my personal friends who were mourning. Is it more disrespectful to go to a funeral smelling like drugs, or to leave before the eulogy? -- GRIEVING IN MINNESOTA
DEAR GRIEVING: Going somewhere "reeking of marijuana" would qualify as extremely poor judgment. Attending an emotional event such as a funeral when stoned (or drunk) is also a mistake, because substance abuse can alter a person's perception of what is going on and lead that person to behave inappropriately. (An example that comes to mind would be a laughing jag -- during a eulogy.)
As to leaving a funeral before the eulogy, the polite way to handle it would have been to explain quietly to one or more of your sober friends why you had to go and make your exit discreetly, so as few people as possible noticed you leaving.