DEAR ABBY: I'm in love with the perfect guy, but I have a gnawing worry. "Clayton" and I have been dating for three months. We're so convinced we are meant to be together forever that we have already announced our plans to marry in a few months.
So why the worry? Clayton has been married twice. Both marriages ended because he was unfaithful. Clayton swears he's a changed man. I believe him. He looks me in the eye and says I'm the one he has searched for and needed his entire life.
I am 30 and have never been married. I can hardly wait to have children with Clayton so we can raise them together. He's excited, too, which surprises me because he's in his mid-40s and has two teenagers. He's very active in their lives. (He and his wife parted amicably.)
I sometimes sense odd vibes from his co-workers and acquaintances, but I'm new in town and no one has come out and said anything about him. I did overhear one person comment as we passed by, "There goes the Casanova of Cleveland."
As I write this, I have even more doubts. Does it mean anything that I'm afraid to tell my father about Clayton's marital and sexual history for fear he won't understand? Please hurry your advice. -- CAN'T WAIT IN OHIO
DEAR CAN'T WAIT: You have been swept off your feet. When someone falls as hard and as fast as you have, emotions rule and it's difficult to think rationally. The "little questions" in the back of your mind are your common sense trying to break through the fog.
Although you say you're afraid to tell your father about your boyfriend's history for fear "he won't understand," I suspect the opposite is true. You're afraid he WILL understand. And while no one has said anything directly to you about Clayton, the comment "There goes the Casanova of Cleveland" carries a pretty direct message.
My advice is to slow down, become engaged for a year, and get to know Clayton much better before rushing to the altar. And please don't try to keep secrets from your father. When someone is as famous -- or infamous -- as Clayton has made himself, the truth has a way of coming out.