DEAR ABBY: Recently at a family party for my daughter's second birthday, a discussion came up about who I would like to leave my children with if something happened to my husband and me.
Although we have not made definite plans, I said we had several options. We are extremely close to some friends who are raising their children as we are raising ours. After thinking it over, I said they would be our first choice.
Well, my parents became furious. They threatened that if we were to leave our children with these friends, they would contest the will and fight to get custody.
Abby, I love my parents, but in my heart, I know they would not be the best choice to raise our kids. How can I get my parents to back off? -- THINKING OF THEIR FUTURE
DEAR THINKING: You probably can't, so you and your husband must talk to a lawyer and have your wishes "carved in granite." Include in the document all of the reasons you want your friends to raise your children -- and all of the reasons why your parents should not. Then cross your fingers, pray that the document will never have to be seen by your parents or used by your friends, and, if it becomes necessary, that it will be reviewed by an understanding, sympathetic judge.