DEAR ABBY: I'm getting married this year. My fiance, "Greg," and I have decided to go on a cruise for our honeymoon. We're very excited about it and have told our families when and where we are going.
Well, about a month ago, my future mother-in-law (whom I adore) decided that she and my future father-in-law are interested in going with us. As of this week, it's official. They are booked on the same cruise.
Now I ask you, am I wrong in not wanting my in-laws along on our honeymoon? If this were just a vacation, I wouldn't be so bothered by it, but I would prefer that we go on our honeymoon by ourselves.
Greg finds it hard to tell his parents that we don't want them to go, but he says he will if I tell him to. Well, I did tell him that if my mother told me she and Dad were going, I'd tell her "No!" My problem is, I don't want my in-laws thinking I'm the one who doesn't want them. I love them too much to want to stir up trouble. -- HONEYMOONING WITH THE IN-LAWS
DEAR HONEYMOONING: You have my sympathy. It was extremely insensitive of your future in-laws to have booked passage on your honeymoon cruise without first having cleared it with you.
You and Greg seem like very nice people, but both of you could use some assertiveness training. You'll need it when coping with your mother-in-law. If Greg is reluctant to stand up to his parents now, I foresee problems in the future.
If neither of you has the courage to make your wishes known to his parents, then consider discreetly talking to your travel agent to make sure you are not seated at the same dinner table, and that your cabins are on different decks. The entire travel company will support you. Trust me.