DEAR ABBY: I need some advice about how to talk to my father. I'm getting married soon and do not want him to give me away at the wedding ceremony.
He left when I was about 2 years old and came back into the picture again when I was 16. The man who was more like a father to me, and still is, is my grandfather. He is the person I would like to ask to give me away.
I haven't been able to come up with a diplomatic way of telling my father how I feel. I'm not even sure I want him at my wedding. He knows I don't value him as a daughter should value a father and has made several attempts to redeem himself in my eyes. However, I am far from impressed.
Since I am sadly lacking communication skills, will you please help me? -- LISA IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LISA: You communicate your feelings better than you think you do. May I suggest a compromise? Ask both your father and your grandfather to walk you down the aisle, one on each arm. There is no reason to hurt either man on your special day. In years to come you will be happy you made the gesture. The alternative is to walk down the aisle alone.