DEAR ABBY: After reading your column on first cousins marrying, I thought I'd better let you know the downside: when it doesn't work out.
I was also involved with a "kissing cousin" many years ago, and there are consequences one doesn't think of until it's too late.
To start with, you fight to get the other family members to accept that you're involved with each other. Then, when it goes sour and you can't stand to be around each other, who do you turn to?
From experience I can tell you: No one! You suffer in silence because everyone told you it would not work out and you wouldn't listen. I can tell you, it's easier to break off a relationship with an outsider than with a relative. It's 100 times harder when it's family. You cause divisions and pain when you get together, and it's worse when you split. There's more pain than you could ever imagine for both those involved and the families.
You are expected to attend family functions and pretend it never happened, to be polite and try to be civil to each other even though you're dying inside and, wish as you may, you can never go back to "before."
Please advise anyone contemplating a relationship with a relative. Think long and hard before you leap. Your paths will cross again and again, and your life will never be the same! Been there, done that and regretting it ... SOMEWHERE IN THE U.S.A.
DEAR SOMEWHERE: That's sage advice. Most of the questions I receive regarding marriage among cousins reflect concerns about the genetic aspects of such a union -- not the emotional price that's paid in the event of a failure.