DEAR ABBY: I am 24 years old and happily married to a 35-year-old man who has had a previous marriage and has two children, 14 and 12.
We have been married for two years and are completely happy with each other. However, the problem is I want a child of my own and he does not.
When we were dating, we often discussed it, and he would say that he has two and that's all he needs, although he might consider more in the future.
Well, Abby, it's the future now, and I am ready to take on the responsibility of a child. Now he tells me that he wants to get himself "fixed" because he has decided not to have more children. I don't think it's fair to me, being young and healthy and wanting to have at least one child of my own.
I love him dearly, but this has put a big damper on our marriage, and I am not sure how to handle this. Please help. -- UNSURE IN FLORIDA
DEAR UNSURE: Consider this: A man who says he wants no more children and is considering getting himself "fixed" to ensure that he will have no more is a poor candidate for fatherhood. True, he did promise to consider it, but it is obvious that he wants no more children.
I recommend counseling for both of you. If he refuses to get counseling -- go without him.