DEAR ABBY: Within the next year I will be getting married to a man who has recently ended a 12-year marriage that was troubled from day one. He and his ex-wife had purchased and lived in a home not far from the one I now own. He has improved his home over the years and the balance on his mortgage is less than half of what I owe on my home.
Since we are both approaching 50, we are seeking to establish ourselves financially after his divorce. He wants us to sell my home and move into his, although my home has greater potential for appreciation because of its location.
A number of friends have said that I should be reluctant to move into the same house he had occupied with his first wife. I have discussed this with him, and he said if selling his home and moving into mine will make me happy, we will do it. He also says there are no good memories of his marriage in that house, so "ghosts" will not be a problem. He promises we will make our own good memories and says it's not the house but what goes on inside it that matters. I'm free to redecorate however I want, and we will make it our home.
Abby, I'm confused. My practical nature tells me that the economics of moving into his home are better for us; my emotional side tells me that we should either move into my house (which has never been shared with anyone) or sell both homes and buy another one. What are your thoughts on this? -- UNDECIDED
DEAR UNDECIDED: If you can swing it financially, I vote for buying a new home.