DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When we moved into our new apartment, the first people to knock on our door and introduce themselves was the elderly couple next door. They told us they lived in this building for nearly 45 years, raised their son here, and were among the first to buy their apartment when the building became a condo.
My wife thinks they are just a sweet old couple, but I have heard from a few of the other people who live in the building that they are the kind of people who latch onto other people and constantly take advantage of them. The more you offer to do for them, the more they first ask then start to demand.
I keep telling my wife to not get sucked in by them, but she is always nice to everyone and keeps doing little favors for them, like driving them to the grocery store with her and taking things to the post office, and last week, she agreed to check in on their cats for a week while they go on a cruise.
How do I keep my wife from getting sucked into their little web of constant favors? --- NOT SURE ABOUT THIS
DEAR NOT SURE ABOUT THIS: It appears from what you shared that it’s only you and not your wife who’s finding the requests by the neighbors burdensome.
While I agree there are people who take advantage of kindness, if your wife’s okay with helping them out, then it’s up to her whether or not she continues doing so — at least until her limit is reached, at which point it’ll likewise be on her to draw a line.
One quick note: A good test for whether your neighbors are only takers and never givers is to ask them for a reasonable favor and see what their response is. If they’re willing to reciprocate your wife’s kindness, then they may be less devious than you think.